Personal negative opinions on appearance are better left unsaid

[Justit]

I believe that one should not express a personal opinion about another person’s appearance when that opinion is neither requested nor positive. This includes comments such as: you look much older than a year ago, the aesthetic surgery you had spoiled your look, your new hair colour does not suit you, and similar remarks.

This is not about limiting freedom of expression, but about maintaining a positive and respectful tone in a conversation. Why not express only something positive (provided it is sincere) and keep negative comments (if any) to oneself? This does not mean that people should exchange only superficial compliments, but unsolicited personal opinions about someone’s appearance can easily spoil that person’s mood, even if they are not taken too seriously, without bringing anything useful in return.

Only the person him/herself can decide how they want to look. What truly matters is how that person feels; the goal is certainly not to be liked or approved of by others.

 

[Fiscal]

All social norms are already built on a flimsy moral contract and since the COVID period, the decline has clearly accelerated. Customer service, corporate greed, the attitude of the general public. It all went downhill. Just log in to X, for example. Then you'll see what a cesspool the internet is where everyone can be even more of themselves.

Your statement is very noble, but perhaps a bit naive, assuming the average person isn't envious. Don't expect compliments and especially don't expect comments to be withheld.

Above all, be happy and confident about yourself and surround yourself with a select group of friends/acquaintances with whom you don't have to think about such things.

 

[Justit]

This reflection wasn’t about myself, but about what I observe around me. I notice how frequently negative comments are expressed: not anonymous remarks online, but comments made in real life by family, friends, and colleagues. It doesn’t seem right to me. I don’t see any benefit in it; it only makes everyone feel worse.

 

[Fiscal]

Neither was my comment directed towards you but a general observation as well. Especially in Europe, where I'm originally from, this kind of behavior is a common occurence.

But I think you have to look at it this way: it's often projection. Many people reach a point where they're dissatisfied with their lives and happily put others down. Where I come from, such directness is supposedly a 'cultural' thing that belongs to the country, but I think that is complete nonsense. Just an excuse to be rude whenever possible.

 

[JohnnyDoe]

Freedom cannot be limited. You can say what you want, when you want, without asking permission.

Negative comments are part of that freedom. Sometimes they are useful. Sometimes they are uncomfortable, irritating, or just plain stupid. Good. Reality is not a wellness retreat. Criticism aimed at ideas, choices, behavior, or reasoning can be valuable. It can correct errors, expose blind spots, and prevent stupidity from running wild.

At the same time, freedom does not magically turn every negative remark into something meaningful. Unsolicited opinions about someone’s appearance usually add nothing. Saying them is allowed; expecting them to be treated as valuable is delusional.

The solution is ignoring. That option exists and is criminally underused. You do not need to debate or internalize every comment thrown at you: you are free to disregard it completely and move on with your life.

And remember that if you remain silent you will never be wrong.

 

[Marty McFly]

Why should you give a shit about what other people say?
If you like your green hair, tattooed face or size 12 boobs, that’s all what matters.

 

[void]

Freedom cannot be limited. You can say what you want, when you want, without asking permission.

Negative comments are part of that freedom. Sometimes they are useful. Sometimes they are uncomfortable, irritating, or just plain stupid. Good. Reality is not a wellness retreat. Criticism aimed at ideas, choices, behavior, or reasoning can be valuable. It can correct errors, expose blind spots, and prevent stupidity from running wild.

At the same time, freedom does not magically turn every negative remark into something meaningful. Unsolicited opinions about someone’s appearance usually add nothing. Saying them is allowed; expecting them to be treated as valuable is delusional.

The solution is ignoring. That option exists and is criminally underused. You do not need to debate or internalize every comment thrown at you: you are free to disregard it completely and move on with your life.

And remember that if you remain silent you will never be wrong.

this is crucial... ignoring and especially ostracizing is the only way how deal with what is said or written - there is no authority to define truth and decide what is true/false

people have to learn not to believe and care about everything they hear/read - instead we need to learn to vote by our actions